Before I begin, I really don’t think this post has to be gender-specific, which is why I called this “What’s in Your Bag” and not “What’s in Your Purse” or “What’s in Your Murse.”
I have puh-lenty of male friends who carry messenger bags, laptop bags, recyclable grocery bags, and bags shaped like puppies.
I’m not even sure this is limited to bags. I think what I’m about to discuss has pertained to my desk drawers at work and certainly to That One Junk Drawer I know we all have, so don’t pretend your home doesn’t have one. Sometimes, you just have to toss a bobby pin in the Junk Drawer in case a situation arises and you need it in that room.
But today, we are gathered here to talk about what the dickens ends up in my purse and why.
I actually don’t have room to discuss everything that ends up in my purse, so we’ll just cover five things.
This came to mind because I downsized my purse a few months ago. I was carrying something like this:
It always shocked people, and I got the ol’, “Why’d you bring your suitcase?” joke every two days from someone. I insisted I was very organized, for my one purse fit five mini purses.
It made a lot of sense in my head. I had a makeup purse (mirror, lipstick, eh), office purse (pens, post-its, blah), first-aid purse (band aids, Shout wipes, blee), feminine things purse (I hate when those are just visible), and a coin purse. This made it so much easier to reach in and locate my wallet, checks, phone, novelty toys, tissues, and other such important pursely things.
found that I was always leaning to the right when I walked, even without the purse decided that it was time to switch to a standard-sized purse. I felt that this would actually keep me much more organized, for with such a large purse, I’d begun to keep binders, snacks, cute old granddads, movies, sodas, and sweaters with me at all times. I was out of control. It was time to center myself, beginning with my purse.
I really thought I was doing well and keeping it down to my wallet, coin purse, and a couple of lipsticks. The odd thing is that I almost never wear lipstick. I guess I just like to have the option. I own maybe ten, so they need to go somewhere.
My biggest problem, I thought, was that I stuff receipts in there and don’t clean them out often.
And then, last weekend, I couldn’t find my phone. I do have a memory problem for reasons that are none of your business, so butt out, so I am typically very good at putting things like my keys, phone, and charger in the same place whenever I don’t use them. My phone, no offense, is fairly chunky. It’s not the phone’s problem. I’m not judging. It just has a big cover. Like a slim person wearing a large coat. I feel like maybe it makes the phone feel self-conscious sometimes, but it’s also pretty trendy and glamorous.
My phone’s home when I’m out is the purse. I do not know how people who do not carry bags handle their phones. Especially if they dress them in glamorous little phone-coats. It seems it’d be uncomfortable to put them in a pocket.
(Leave a comment to explain your phone-carrying process.)
So I was digging through my purse, which hardly made sense because my phone is so chunky (Sorry, phone) that it takes up most of the purse’s space. And here, you guys, is where I discovered that I have on my person some things that may come in handy, should we find ourselves in unexpected situations.
Item 1: Vaccination Records for The Sweet Baboo
If you’re just joining us, The Sweet Baboo is my main man. Er, my dog. I wouldn’t keep vaccination records for a person. Well, I might, but I wouldn’t tell anyone. I have found myself in situations when people ask for his records, so I keep them readily available. Typically, these situations have been before he gets his nails trimmed or when I’ve moved. I have found it easiest to have his records in the car. I don’t have an explanation for why they’re in my purse, but since they are there, I sort of feel like taking him for a mani-pedi.
Item 2: Stickers
Look. My dad is a dentist. It is a longstanding tradition that if I stop by his office even to say “Hi,” I get to leave with a glove and a sticker. I realize this means an actual scared child is going to be without a sticker, and maybe a hygienist is going to have to work without a glove on one hand, but this is the life I know. I don’t judge the tradition that you have visiting your mom at her cool job as a DJ and how you get to leave with a go-go dancer, so you can’t judge me for leaving my dad’s office with a sticker and forgetting it in my purse. Where do you leave your go-go dancer?
Item 3: Four Different Chapsticks
So this is really Item 3a – 3d. It is here because my options are not reasonable. Two are nearly identical and were given to me for free from different companies. One just dries my lips (so it is a stick that chaps my lips), but it’s always the easiest to find and has a nice flavor. The fourth is the one that I actually like. I just can’t ever find it under all of my receipts, wallet, phone, and such.
Y’know, if I had a large purse that allowed for a specific make up bag, this wouldn’t be a problem…
Item 4: Press Pass
“Cool, Megs.” You’re thinking, “I thought you taught? Who do you write for? Where are you going?”
No. You’re right. I teach. This press pass is from 2004. When the time machine comes, it will take me to blast-to-the-past concerts in 2004 to see Journey, 80s hairbands, the B-52s, and someone else. Honestly, I guess I’d rather fly the time machine back to see those bands perform during their hey days. But still, I keep the press pass on me because what if I need it?
Item 5: My Student ID… From 6th Grade
So I can’t locate my phone, but I have my student ID from 1993. It’s not just that I have my middle school ID, but it’s in my purse, not tucked away in some cute scrapbook where it belongs. It’s things like this that blow my mind.
I can’t explain this one away. I mean, I haven’t really changed much since I was 11. I’m 2 inches taller. I don’t have a retainer. I guess my hair is
better different. My personality is the exact same, but you can’t get that from a standard awkward preteen photo.
It really isn’t like I can just whip it out for a student discount at the movies.
That’s why I have my college IDs. I don’t condone such behavior to save two bucks.
Here’s the thing, My Pretties. My name is Megs and I’m a Hoarder of Inconsequential Items.
More evidence can be found in Treasures in the Trunk.