Y2Okay

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

My pretties. I owe you an apology. I have not gifted you with my words for months. I do not know what came over me. I will remind you, though, that I began this blog by setting myself up for failure to stick to a schedule. You were to expect that I would not regularly update.

I now have 55 minutes left in 2016 in Central Standard Time. Let us see if I can squeeze in one more post for the year.

I shall go with The Predictable and write a New Years Eve post.

I remember celebrating the year 2000. I worked at Walgreens and everyone was preparing for Y2K, which just translates to Year 2000. But it was said in a way that meant that life as we knew it was going to end. Computers were expected to stop and for reasons that I never understood, this meant that the world was going to stop. One customer told me that even cars were Continue reading “Y2Okay”

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Mouth Breathing and Freezers

If you’ve been a MeghaFan since the beginning, or if you’ve recently joined and had time to peruse, you’ve noticed that I’ve taken some time to discuss a couple of fears of mine. First, I explored the very real fear that I could get trapped in a public restroom stall. I divulged my poor experiences with squirrels (fact: I forgot that my dog was next to me and thought he was a squirrel when he stretched moments ago). Then I recently discussed why I fear fish.

Now it is time to examine freezers.

There are a lot of reasons to be wary of freezers. If you watched Punky Brewster in the ’80s, you saw that episode when her friend Cherie shut herself in an unused refrigerator during a cutthroat game of hide-and-seek (I think) and got trapped.  Continue reading “Mouth Breathing and Freezers”

Why My First Fish Was My Last

When I talked about my fear of getting locked in bathroom stalls in “There’s Nothing To Fear,But Maybe This,” I felt a little validated. Maybe I’m not an over thinker. I actually learned that other people have that fear and wonder if others might share my other legitimate fears.

Such as pet fish.

We had a pet goldfish when I was roundabouts 9 or 10. It was orange-ish, going against the gold name given to it, with a black splotch on its tiny cheek that was shaped like Mickey Mouse. An MM fanatic, I named the fish Mickey and had grand plans for us. It liked swimming, I loved swimming, so we had a lot to talk about. It liked Mickey Mouse so much that it had that birthmark or tattoo in the shape of the mouse’s head. I loved Mickey Continue reading “Why My First Fish Was My Last”

Quarrel with the Squirrels

This is a very sensitive topic for me, but I realize that I sort of left you hanging yesterday. I mentioned that I sometimes find my dog sleeping under the blanket and think that he’s a squirrel that’s hiding, waiting for his moment to attack me.

I’m going to assume you are nodding with understanding and sympathy, because this is very reasonable for me to think. Let me tell you why. If you have something that you hold in your time of need — a blanket, stuffed animal, bottle of whiskey — I recommend that you grab it right now.

Squirrels have been bullying me for about four years, now. One tried to take my lunch between classes during grad school. It actually sat on a table, tugged at my backpack, pulled the lid on my bottle of water, and threatened my life — well, I assume from the looks in its eyes that it was threatening me. I finally threw my peanut butter sandwich on the ground and grabbed my belongings while it was distracted. I moved half a block away, sat down, and when I looked up… it was right there, asking for more.

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Actual Photo of the Bully

Squirrels: 1
Megs: 0 Continue reading “Quarrel with the Squirrels”

There’s Nothing To Fear, But Maybe This

Look, I get the idea behind that famous quote given with great, protective confidence by President FDR. There shouldn’t be anything to fear but fear itself. Fear is the reason we have fear. Why, just last week, my bedroom door shut itself and The Sweet Baboo (pictured in this post) was so scared that he couldn’t decide if he should hide under the bed or sit next to me and, in the wise words of The Taylor Swift, literally Shake It Off. He wisely chose to cuddle me and shake for a while. Like we’ve all done, he was only fearing nothing, or fearing fear. The Invisible. The possibilities that his little puppy mind had created for why the door had closed by itself. If I could speak Puppy, I could have told him that the wind from my open window closed it.

I, on the other hand, have some very reasonable fears. Let me first make a quick list of things that I am not afraid of so you can put this in perspective:

Parasailing

Blindly trying new things

Making a fool of myself in public (which is basically the basis of this blog)

Okay, I actually had to spend a few days thinking of grand things that I don’t fear and parasailing was the only risky thing I could whip up. I should really erase the above, but… nah. Continue reading “There’s Nothing To Fear, But Maybe This”